A Wake-Up Call

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa
Waheguru ji ki Fateh

So I started work at the violence prevention center on campus this week. I know, exciting. I finally have some decent work hours for the summer. Anyway, a fellow co-worker (and friend) and I were discussing spirituality, one of our usual topics. She was asking questions about my embracing of Sikhism, and she asked whether I knew of any other Sikhs in town. Now, in my mind, it had not occurred to me to check Facebook for Sikh students at Mizzou (which would be easy because you would just search for "Kaur" or "Singh", the female and male last names of baptized Sikhs, respectively). I had searched on the Mizzou website for anything Sikhi, as well as doing Google searches, but I didn't think to check Facebook. As far as I was concerned, I was the only Sikh in town (if I'm even allowed to call myself a Sikh, but more on that later).

So I answered her question with something like "you know, I really do think I'm the only Sikh in town." From further away in the office, another co-worker said "No, you're not." This is another good friend of mine, a great faculty member and leader of several on-campus groups. I've learned a lot from him. I was about to learn even more.

He came over and joined our conversation. I told him I was very glad to hear that there are other Sikhs in town. It's quite a relief to know I don't have to go this alone. He began explaining that the South Asian Students Association has a few Sikh members from native Punjabi families. That was really good news to me.

However, he began giving me a bit of a wake-up call as far as this stuff is concerned. He talked about how former Sikh students at Mizzou were very critical of the American version of Sikhism, and often openly expressed their disapproval. It wasn't very clear whether he was referring to the 3HO-version of Sikhism, or if he was just saying American Sikhs in general. By this time, much to my chagrin, my other friend had kinda been pushed out of the conversation.

This friend went on explaining that although the Sikh students on campus don't wear 5Ks, they are still very much protective of their faith. He went a little bit into the history of racism against Africans in India and wanted to give me a heads up on that. I asked him if it was smart to maybe get in touch with the remaining Sikh students on campus, and he said of course. I should go to an SASA meeting and introduce myself to them, let them know I'm interested in practicing Sikhism and if they could maybe guide me around a bit. I think it's a great idea, although I'll feel a bit awkward just showing up to a meeting. He agreed to help get me in touch with them when they get back in town for the fall semester.

A lot of what this friend was saying was getting me to realize an important error in my embracing of the faith. It was a bit naive to think I was the only Sikh in town, especially because it's a bit of a problem that I even call myself a Sikh. I'm not baptized, I don't wear 5K yet and my only experience with Sikhism has been a number of books and websites. I've never visited a gurdwara, bowed my head to the Sri Guru Granth Sahib or participated in langar (the Sikh communal kitchen). I've never even met a Sikh in real life (that I know of).

It is a bit naive of me to call myself a Sikh. This friend also suggested that when getting in touch with the Sikh students on campus, it's a good idea not to wear my turban. Again, it's because they may be a bit judgmental. He didn't voice a personal opinion on this fact, which I kinda want to ask him anyway. He was just giving me a heads up.

I told him I hadn't thought about whether or not I would be offending South Asian students on campus by wearing a turban, which I have been for almost two weeks now. I felt terrible and ignorant, like a white guy who has no idea his joke was really racist. But I'm glad this friend pointed it out to me. I don't think I will remove my turban anytime soon, though. I don't feel I need permission from anyone to wear a turban (or to practice Sikhism, for that matter). But I am glad I have an awareness of the potential problem.

I may come off a bit strong by saying this, but I'll own up to it. While I'm glad this friend opened my eyes to potential issues with my practice, I want to make it clear that I don't feel I necessarily need the approval or permission of anyone to pursue my own spirituality. It's my path, my life and my practice. No one is sitting with me when I read my prayers in the morning. No one sits with me when I study the Sri Guru Granth Sahib (holy book) or read gurbani translations online (the music taken from the SGGS).

However, I do feel it's only fair for me to reach out to the other Sikhs on campus and possibly establish some type of mutual relationship. I at least want them to know I appreciate their faith and culture and have the utmost respect for their contribution to spirituality here in the States. I don't want to isolate myself from a potential wealth of knowledge right in front of me.

But they could just as easily be totally dismissive of my efforts and choose not to reciprocate the engagement. And they have every right to do it and I won't be mad at them for it. After all, to them, I'm just some random Black guy running around in a poorly tied turban with minimal knowledge of how Sikhism is really practiced in Punjab.

If they choose that road, they should also understand that they are giving me permission to continue pursuing this practice on my own. And like I said before, I'm not seeking their approval or permission. I don't need it. I'm seeking their guidance, but I can get it elsewhere if necessary.

I'm not going to stop wearing my turban. I understand why a native Sikh would choose not to keep the 5Ks - the pressure to assimilate to American culture is something I'm still struggling with. But at this moment, my turban is a symbol of my commitment to further dedicating my life to the Sikh path. To give it up now would be akin to throwing in the towel, just because I'm afraid of a few snickers here and there from those who have made the same decision. As far as I'm concerned, they don't really have room to talk.

I plan to wear all of the 5Ks once I'm baptized, and that includes the kirpan. I plan to hold a meeting with campus police, campus judicial services, student life and the city transportation officials about the relevance and idea behind the kirpan. I will have all of my bases covered before moving forward. I'm dead serious about my path.

So I should make it clear: I'm not some disillusioned and ill-knowledgeable American waltzing around thinking I know everything I need to know about this path. I'm doing everything I can to learn and grow and allow Sikhism to completely penetrate my being. I make no assumptions. I hope my fellow Sikh students will see my genuine desire to learn and help me along this path. If not, no biggie. I'm right back where I started, which was comfortable for me anyway.

It's funny - I joined my friend back at his desk and he showed me a video of the SASA dance team performing at a conference last year. The routine had many elements of bhangra, a Punjabi style of dance, as well as some Western style in it. While it was entertaining (I thought they did a great job), I couldn't help but think about the research I have done on the debate between Sikh youth on whether or not it's appropriate for them to stay engaged in secular Punjabi culture instead of committing themselves to the gursikh way of life. Of course, I can't have an opinion on this, but the debates I've seen online show it's a strenuous point of contention in the native Sikh community. This makes me wonder further just how my interaction with the Sikh students at Mizzou will actually play out, especially when they find out how serious I am about this path.

One more thing: one of the statements I have continually come across in my research of Sikhism (both in books and online) is that one is not born a Sikh. One must become a Sikh by devoting their life to the Guru. I've read heated discussions between native Punjabis about this idea, and although there's a lot of self-righteousness involved, I understand the main point. It's the same thing my parents used to tell me - just because I was born into a Christian family doesn't automatically make me a Christian. It takes commitment.

Anyway, I thank my friend for the heads up. I needed it.

Thanks for reading.


Waheguru ji ka Khalsa
Waheguru ji ki Fateh